Monday, November 11, 2013
(Mothers note....it looks like a long stressful and painful week for Erin, but I am posting exactly as she wrote and her feelings. I won't sugar coat it). I went on splits with a Laurel named Chastity and I was leading us around. I accidentally took a wrong turn and we got lost. We wandered around for a while and when sisters Hixon and Baty found me, we weren't even in our area anymore. We ended up being a few miles outside our borders. We were starving and frozen cold. I started singing to Lion King because it was so miserable. I love the Lion King so I needed some happiness in my life. Pdays are the best because I get to talk you. I cannot even begin to tell you how much I miss you. Missions are extremely hard and stressful. I feel like I'm just a missionary, just another member on a list. I feel like I'm not even Erin anymore. I don't even recognize my name when someone calls it. There's so many things that I can't do because I represent Christ. I didn't even think I was bad before, but I definitely can't do those things anymore. I sure do miss being me. I can't wait for these sixteen months to pass. I just wish I could be in Elementary again... The good old days of innocents and fun. The thing is... I don't want to quit. I already quit my basketball team and that had me lose my friends. I don't want to lose anything else too. At least I put on a happy face for everyone. I don't think anyone even suspects that I don't really love being a Missionary. They think I'm having a blast. I think I have a hard time is because I am not spiritual. All these missionaries tell their miraculous experiences about feeling the Spirit and talking with God, but I must not be doing something right. You are the only person on earth who knows how I feel. It's rough being the missionary who barely knows anything. I'm not getting a cast. I'm just going through physical therapy. If they found all the breaks a month ago, than I would have gotten a cast. Lets just say its been a really looooooooooooong painful stressful month. Well, I love you and I have to go now. I love you mom, more than a beaver loves its dam!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ¡Te amo!